the future...

i realized recently that when i think of michael, i see our future, i see kids, i see getting old, i see a lifetime with him. i haven't felt that in 15 years when justin was in my life.
having to say goodbye was so tragic to me because i knew we were right together. he was definately one of my soul mates. i never thought i would find it again. i was prepared to settle and just live life as it came because i was so broken after that.
i think thats why when i met michael...i knew! cuz i knew how to recognize it. =-)
why do i put this in "my psychic journey"?
i feel like my pictures of the future will lead me there.
i love you michael.
namaste.
sometimes when i look at you i feel like i have known you before. if i didn't know better i feel like i have known you since i was a kid. sometimes, i have flashes of a life we have lived that we haven't.
i remember you told me when i first came out that "you found me again". you said..."we HAVE met before, and we were in love, and i lost you. your name was josephine, and you were my fathers slavegirl. you called me mr. mangum and we had a love affair. my father found out and he had you sent away and i have been looking for you ever since."
=-) smiling.
whether it is true or not, i loved you even more after that for the plain fact that you came up with that story.
sometimes i feel like i need to squelch how much i love you because i wasn't supposed to find you.
it was total happenstance. i feel like you will get stolen from me again.
(maybe we can be like russel and find the hidden idol again and again)
;-)