my son...

so today...AGAIN...as i was driving i was on a thought journey and realized i was picking names for my son!
it was as if i was already pregnant and due and it was only natural to pick a name...duh!
these things happen as if they are fact! VERY different from the times my mind just wanders or is creating.
IT IS FACT!

the alien in my bed

a couple night ago, i looked over and "saw" michael laying next to me and he had this contraption on his face to help him breath. it was sooooo clear and detailed, with a hose coming out of his mouth to a machine etc.
michael has sleep apnea nad he has this machine for breathing. i have never seen him use it however. i just know it is under the bed.
because of what i saw in my "picture" i asked him if he should start usung it because he has been losing alot of sleep lately because of it.
the next night he did use it and i turned to look at him during the night and i saw exactly what i had seen 2 nights before.

cat

sometimes i will be sitting in the living room, on the couch and i can see down the hall, but cannot see the floor because a love seat is blocking the floor area. i will see a flash of light come around the corner from the bedroom and i always turn really quick to look. then cat will mosey on out from the hall and around the corner of the loveseat.
it was him. it happens ALL the time, all over the house. i swear he is a being sent here to be my friend.

the future...

i realized recently that when i think of michael, i see our future, i see kids, i see getting old, i see a lifetime with him. i haven't felt that in 15 years when justin was in my life.
having to say goodbye was so tragic to me because i knew we were right together. he was definately one of my soul mates. i never thought i would find it again. i was prepared to settle and just live life as it came because i was so broken after that.
i think thats why when i met michael...i knew! cuz i knew how to recognize it. =-)
why do i put this in "my psychic journey"?
i feel like my pictures of the future will lead me there.
i love you michael.
namaste.
sometimes when i look at you i feel like i have known you before. if i didn't know better i feel like i have known you since i was a kid. sometimes, i have flashes of a life we have lived that we haven't.
i remember you told me when i first came out that "you found me again". you said..."we HAVE met before, and we were in love, and i lost you. your name was josephine, and you were my fathers slavegirl. you called me mr. mangum and we had a love affair. my father found out and he had you sent away and i have been looking for you ever since."
=-) smiling.
whether it is true or not, i loved you even more after that for the plain fact that you came up with that story.
sometimes i feel like i need to squelch how much i love you because i wasn't supposed to find you.
it was total happenstance. i feel like you will get stolen from me again.
(maybe we can be like russel and find the hidden idol again and again)
;-)

my son...

i was laying in bed with michael the other night and i felt like i was transported to the future, literally and in a flash...i almost said...can you go check on our son before we go to sleep.
i saw our son...a 3 year old blond boy and his room was my current office/ craft room. his bed was on the wall with the window.
it reminded me that when i first moved here we were sitting in the living room. i was on the love seat and michael was on the couch. i looked up and saw a blonde boy about 1 1/2 years old climb up and sit by michael.
both times he is a quiet, curious, gentle spirit.

the panther

2 days in a rown now i have seen a panther...in my mind
both on my drive to work.
yesterday it had jumped into the middle of the road lunging and sneering at me.
i was still safe though.
today it was sitting upright in the road, watching me.
again, no harm.
curious....
though i'd just jot it down incase the meaning reveals itself.

the hand warmers...

i recently joined this new site called "intent.com" where you can go and post your intent for the day, and people will show their support or post comments on your entries...it has been a very positive experience.
one of my unspoken intents yesterday was to make a new friend. i felt a little selfish wanting that.
at any rate...last night i had to do 2 tours down in old town. one of our stops is at a little chapel that is open 24/7/365, so we never know what we are gonna find in there.
when i went to check it out, i came upon a homeless man...praying. i explained that we were doing a tour and did he mind if we came in? he said...no, and he waited on a bench outside for us to finish.
during the tour stop i watched him wait, with his bundled bedding, for us to finish. i had been complaining about how cold it was, and i had these hand warmers stuffed in my gloves to keep me semi warm.
as i watched him, i realized he had no gloves! he was all curled up into himself to try and generate some warmth. i immediately got up and gave him my hand warmers.
i found myself saying....i don't need these, would you like them?....
he looked up at me and with tears in his eyes said...thank you!
as i sat and watched him some more, i realized, i wasn't as cold as i thought i was.
and helping him was worth more than making a new friend anyday.
so, i thank you universe for letting me find him.

my dream last night....

i dreamt i got in a car accident. i was driving and the passenger thought she knew what she was doing and grabbed the wheel and we went over an embankment. we were fine. car was totalled though.
which led me to going into this building where i saw a girl i knew from when i was 17 ish. her name was bianca diaz. i remember her peircing blue eyes. i LOVED her. i MISS her. i haven't seen her SINCE i was 17 or 18!
anyway, i awoke thinking about her brother russel and wondering where they ended up in life.
lo and behold i get a friend request from russelbest friend back then. kevin.
i accepted it and in conversation asked if he had heard from bianca or russel.
i haven't gotten an answer yet but i am very curious!

things i know...

09/30/09.....i KNOW peoples intent before it is apparant to others. i KNOW when people are suffering, or are sick physically or emotionally. i KNOW when poeple are lying. i KNOW that i was pregnant twice and miscarried within the first month of each and what the sex of the the first one was. when i met michael, i KNEW i was gonna marry him someday even though we lived 800 miles apart and i didn't see him for 1 1/2 after i met him.
these KNOWINGS are very different than just knowing something. they FEEL different and i am learninghow to decipher them.
for me these KNOWINGS come to me as fact. there is no hesitation in my consciousness. no doubt or questioning. it just is.
with other "knowings" i feel a skepticism or questioning until it is proven correct. these could be compared to "knowing" 2+2 is 4 but you still have to do the math in your head to verify it....

you are demonized!

09/30/09....i recall "knowing" things as i was growing up. as i think of examples i will post them but because of the religion i was raised in i felt i must be possessed by satan or a demon. in this religion there was no other explanation for the unknown world of psychic abilities or afterlife except for "you must have a demon"! this made me grow up REALLY doubting myself and my abilities and intuition. i began to feel like ALL of my inner voices and things i picked up on MUST have been wrong and from satan. this lead me to make many poor decisions and eventually an emotional breakdown because of ignoring myself for so long. it makes me sad to think that i had MANY people come to me with similar abilities looking for answers, (probably because they sensed it in me too) and all i knew to tell them was...pray to god and ask him to tell the demons go away! very sad!

grandma natalie

09/30/09......i started thinking about how my great grandmother natalie kept coming to my consciousness awhile back. i have never met this woman or seen a picture! however i kept seeing her clearly in my mind, and was acutely aware of her sparkling eyes that seemed to smile and that she was wearing a long skirt, a blouse, and a scarf on her head. (apparantly my great grandparents were from russia) i also was aware that she was there to encourage me. i somehow felt she was impelling me because she knew it was safe to do what i was about to do and that she wished she could have lived her dream similarly, and wanted to see me do it.
as i look back i realize she was there when i was considering coming out to new mexico to visit micheal and then moreso when i returned and had decided to move here.
her presence gave me a tangible peace and sureness in my decision.

orbs, ghosts, spirits, demons

09/30/09....so i was just reading about orbs, ghosts, spirits, demons and their differences. apparantly orbs are ghosts or energies of the dead who haven't left this realm. spirits on the other hand do leave this relam but visit off and on if the need be. demons of course are evil spirits that do what they want and influence our thoughts and actions and disturb us.

queen elizabeth!

09/01/09...i was driving last week and i felt like a vision was being infused into me...it was a very clear picture with details and names and symbolism. it was about my office manager. i quickly contacted her to tell her about it and low and behold it was an event that happened THAT morning for her. i hadn't talked to her in a week and a half. it had details of where she sat, who she was with, what the meeting was about, why her mother had named her elizabeth, and an odd detail...there was an animal head over the whole scene...turned out she was at "the owl cafe", a cafe here in town that is actually looks like an owl on the outside. (i didn't even know it existed). through symbols i had interpreted WHAT her meeting was about and also, my explanation to her actually helped her interpret some things for herself. it was all very interesting! i am enjoying honing my abilities!i am but a vessel but i have learned to share what happens incase it is for the benefit of the other.