OMG!

i was just reading an old post on here and i realized i have had a "vision" lately!
i was sitting on the couch last night with michael and our newborn was laying between us! a newborn boy wrapped in a blankie!

my passion...

i have had this feeling lately of a fire trying to be lit...
like, i am meant to DO something big or BE something bigger than i am but i just don't know what it is.
i am hard on myself because i have pursued so many things, because i truly LOVE them but so far none of them are THE thing i should be doing. i don't want to keep pursuing insignificant things!
i feel it!
i FEEL, writing a book, designing and creating clothes, opening a raw restaurant.....mayne i am meant to be the RAW martha stewart! =-)

nothin new...

well, nothing significant has happened lately.
i HAVE felt like i am being watched! it is creeping me out!
like, i do not feel safe in my house and as i walk from my car to the front door i feel like there are eyes on my back!
this is an unusual feeling for me!

my son...

so today...AGAIN...as i was driving i was on a thought journey and realized i was picking names for my son!
it was as if i was already pregnant and due and it was only natural to pick a name...duh!
these things happen as if they are fact! VERY different from the times my mind just wanders or is creating.
IT IS FACT!

the alien in my bed

a couple night ago, i looked over and "saw" michael laying next to me and he had this contraption on his face to help him breath. it was sooooo clear and detailed, with a hose coming out of his mouth to a machine etc.
michael has sleep apnea nad he has this machine for breathing. i have never seen him use it however. i just know it is under the bed.
because of what i saw in my "picture" i asked him if he should start usung it because he has been losing alot of sleep lately because of it.
the next night he did use it and i turned to look at him during the night and i saw exactly what i had seen 2 nights before.

cat

sometimes i will be sitting in the living room, on the couch and i can see down the hall, but cannot see the floor because a love seat is blocking the floor area. i will see a flash of light come around the corner from the bedroom and i always turn really quick to look. then cat will mosey on out from the hall and around the corner of the loveseat.
it was him. it happens ALL the time, all over the house. i swear he is a being sent here to be my friend.

the future...

i realized recently that when i think of michael, i see our future, i see kids, i see getting old, i see a lifetime with him. i haven't felt that in 15 years when justin was in my life.
having to say goodbye was so tragic to me because i knew we were right together. he was definately one of my soul mates. i never thought i would find it again. i was prepared to settle and just live life as it came because i was so broken after that.
i think thats why when i met michael...i knew! cuz i knew how to recognize it. =-)
why do i put this in "my psychic journey"?
i feel like my pictures of the future will lead me there.
i love you michael.
namaste.
sometimes when i look at you i feel like i have known you before. if i didn't know better i feel like i have known you since i was a kid. sometimes, i have flashes of a life we have lived that we haven't.
i remember you told me when i first came out that "you found me again". you said..."we HAVE met before, and we were in love, and i lost you. your name was josephine, and you were my fathers slavegirl. you called me mr. mangum and we had a love affair. my father found out and he had you sent away and i have been looking for you ever since."
=-) smiling.
whether it is true or not, i loved you even more after that for the plain fact that you came up with that story.
sometimes i feel like i need to squelch how much i love you because i wasn't supposed to find you.
it was total happenstance. i feel like you will get stolen from me again.
(maybe we can be like russel and find the hidden idol again and again)
;-)